Youre Not a Victim--Really!

Woe is me... life has dealt me a bad hand... the stars are aligned against me... whine, whine, whine! Get over it! You are not the innocent victim of some terrestrial scheme. You are a victim of only one thing... YOU!

In a litigious society, we have been made to believe that all of us are victims of something. From coffee that wasn't labeled "hot" to ice that wasn't labeled "cold", we seem to be constantly on the lookout for that one opportunity that will allow us to rightly claim our status as victims. We're raising our kids to believe it, too!

This is why manufacturers of small electrics have warning labels that are larger than the items warning us in twelve languages not use the electric device while in the shower. How many functioning brain cells must a person have in order to think that drying his or her hair while in the shower is a good idea in the first place?

What we lack in our society is the ability to connect future consequences with potential actions. What will happen tomorrow or a week from now if I ________________? We've been conditioned to ignore that question. Salespeople know that their worst enemy is the brain of a potential customer. If they can lock in the sale before your brain kicks in, you'll sign up for their spectacular financing offer that looks a lot like a revolving charge card with 29 percent interest.

Yet, those people who park their brains and take the bait often scream because they can't make their payments or the payments outlasted the item. Duh! They never thought about the consequences of their actions. They never investigated the claims of the salesperson. They never read the fine print on the lease agreement. They aren't victims of the system; they are victims of their own actions.

So, how do you avoid the negative consequences of today's potential stupidity?

Slow down and think!

Take responsibility for your actions!

Fix the problem!

Learn from your mistakes!

Remember, you can't dig your way out of a hole!

I met a young lady who was lamenting her bad personal situation. She was living in a small apartment with her young daughter, living off of her parents, and struggling to get by. She claimed to be a victim of a big, bad world.

But she wasn't a victim of anything but her own actions. Here's the rest of the story. She got pregnant shortly before her high school graduation and married the father in a hurry-up/cover-up wedding. She whined because she was not able to be "typical" so her mother kept the baby while she pretended she was single and had no responsibilities. She subsequently divorced the father and allowed her new boyfriend to move in with her. Meanwhile, her mother still is caring for the child.

She never took personal responsibility for her decisions to: (1) get pregnant; (2) get married; (3) run around on her husband; (4) get divorced, and; (5) allow the boyfriend to move in.

Was she a victim? Yeah... but not a victim of the system! Think about it!

Dr. Terry Hadaway is a leading expert in adult behavior and an accomplished author. Visit http://www.thinkezine.com for more about his work and to see more of his articles.